Are you struggling with persistent pain?

If yes, you’re probably already doing everything you can from a medical point of view. You may have seen doctors or specialists, your possibly taking medication and you may have even considered surgery. By now you’re probably frustrated going around in circles, feeling helpless and no closer to finding a solution.

 

But Why Is It So Hard to Find a Solution to Chronic Pain?

The traditional medical model tends to explore our specific symptoms in isolation and doesn’t look at us as a whole person. Instead…. It’s time for us to take a step back and look at the body as a whole. In most cases when pain has persisted for more than 3 months, it’s not just a structural issue. Your brain is likely sending incorrect pain signals to your body.

 

This condition is referred to by a few names including neuroplastic pain, Tension Myositis Syndrome (TMS) or mind-body condition.

 

Modern pain science and research have come a long way in the past decade and clearly show the direct link between pain and the brain.

 

In this article, I will share with you the latest science and research so that you can learn why for many people the brain is misfiring signals to the body causing persistent and often excruciating pain. But most importantly you will discover if you can address your specific symptoms using the mind-body approach to healing so that you can get back to enjoying your life just like before.

 

Pain Science 101: Understanding Pain

Most people have pain and then heal as expected but for others, the pain persists sometimes for years.

If you’ve been suffering from symptoms on and off for more than 3 months then this would be considered chronic pain.

The reason we have pain is to protect us from something. For example, if we touch a hot stove then nerve signals would send a message of pain to the brain so that we pull away. Pain is very useful.

To describe how pain works, I will use cycling as an example. Once we learn to ride a bike we never forget. This is because a neural pathway is established that gets stronger the more we do it. Each time we jump on a bike it’s easier than the time before because the neural pathway gets stronger.

Pain acts in the same way. When we experience pain, a neural pathway is established. The longer we feel the pain the stronger the pathway becomes. Even once the injury has healed we can still feel the pain because the pain has now become a learned response. In other words, our brains are misfiring signals of pain to the body.

 

But Why Does This Happen To Some People And Not Others?

This is down to how effectively our nervous system is working. Our nervous systems activate and send pain signals when there is danger whether this is physical or emotional and turn off when the danger has passed.

But sometimes our brains get it wrong. They can perceive something as being a threat even when it’s not really a threat. This is called a prediction error. When our brain gets a prediction error it sends signals to make us stay in high alert. This is known as the fight or flight response. Whilst our nervous system continues to think we are in danger we will continue to get pain and over time the pain can get worse.

 

There are three main reasons why our brains may make the prediction error.

1 – Fear pain itself

2 – Personality types

3 – Past experiences

 

How Your Fear of Pain May Be Contributing To Your Pain

Just because you see something on an MRI scan doesn’t necessarily mean this is what is causing pain. In several studies, they have proven that if you take a group of people experiencing no back pain more than half of them would show some kind of abnormality on their scan. The number of abnormalities we see on MRI scans of people with no pain also increases with age. This shows that degeneration of the spine is just a natural sign of aging. But once we have seen an MRI scan our brains interpret this as scary and we quickly find ourselves in the pain-fear cycle.

 

There is also no link between the amount of pain someone is experiencing and structural damage. In a famous example, a construction worker had a nail go through his foot. He was screaming in pain until they removed the boot and found that the nail had gone right between his toes. He had very real pain because his brain was sending pain signals to protect him from the pain based on the information his brain had.

 

So far we’ve talked mostly about musculoskeletal issues but what about neurological conditions such as migraines or fibromyalgia?

 

We now know from modern pain science that neural pathways that cause pain can be learnt. This also means that pain can be unlearnt. Once we understand how pain works and we can get ourselves out of the pain-fear cycle we can create new non-pain pathways. So therefore neurological conditions can be addressed using the same approach because the pain was created in the first place by nerves.

 

How Your Personality May Be Contributing To Your Pain

Some personality traits put undue pressure on ourselves, which leads to self-induced stress. Our brain may perceive a prediction error that our personality is putting us in danger and activate the nervous system’s fight-or-flight response. If you have any of the following personality traits your chronic pain is more likely to be due to neuroplastic pain.

 

• Perfectionism
• People-pleasing
• Non-confrontational
• Overthinking
• Highly empathetic
• Analytical
• High expectations of self
• Self-critical
• Resentful
• Competitive
• Need to be in control
• Low self-esteem
• Need to be liked
• Feeling anxious
• Driven
• Need to be helpful
• Overly responsible
• Reliable

 

How Past Events May Be Contributing To Your Pain

The ACEs study has shown a direct correlation between childhood trauma and chronic pain in adults. If you experienced any difficult situations as a child, your nervous system would have been working hard to protect you. It will have learnt which things are dangerous and prepared you with the fight or flight response. However, if these events continued over time, your nervous system switch would have become exhausted, leaving you in a constant state of stress. This makes it difficult to recognize as an adult when you’re feeling stressed because it’s your new normal.

If you’ve experienced any of the following events, they could be contributing to your pain because your brain may still be protecting you from these events even though they happened in the past.

• Physical, emotional, or sexual abuse
• Divorce or separation of parents
• Incarceration of a family member
• Witness or experience physical or emotional abuse?
• Have anyone in your household depressed or mentally ill?
• Live with anyone that had a drink or drug problem?
• Often feel you were not loved?

 

You don’t have to have experienced trauma to have chronic pain but it’s just more evidence that your condition could be neuroplastic pain.

 

This article has taught you that not all pain is structural and that pain pathways can be learned and unlearned. You have also been able to gain evidence that your pain could be due to your brain’s misfiring signals around the body. Firstly because of the fear of the pain itself, your personality type and lastly because of past life events.

 

How Do I Get Rid of My Pain?

The good news is that there is a solution that people all around the world have already used to heal their pain. The bad news is that it is unlikely that you will hear this from your physician. Why? Because it takes approximately 20 years from when medical science and research is completed to when this knowledge gets to the front line and they teach this at medical school.

 

Here Are Four Things You Can Do To Address Your Pain

 

1 – You must first rule out life-threatening conditions, Infection, cancer and auto-immune conditions. Your doctor can help advise on this. Then educate yourself on neuroplastic pain and notice if and when you are in the pain fear cycle. There is a free self-assessment video that may help you on my website – CLICK HERE

 

2 – Empower yourself to use your personality to feel strong rather than to cause stress. What personality traits do you have and how can you find ways to use your personality differently? Using a personality assessment such as Gallup Clifton Strengths can help with this. And working with a professional coach can help you find strategies.

 

3 – Explore how past events could be contributing to your pain. List what events you experienced in your past and recognize how this could be contributing to your pain. Use methods such as journalling or working with a professional to process past emotions.

 

4 – Empower yourself to find ways to calm your nervous system throughout your day using techniques such as meditation, mindfulness, gratitude, yoga, exercise and slow breathing.

 

I hope that one-day pain science and research will become mainstream and taught in all schools but for now, I hope this article has helped you to understand why you may have chronic pain and a few things you can do to get on the right path to healing.

 

After healing from a decade of lower back pain, I created the unique freedom from pain healing system which takes you through all four of these stages. I’ve successfully used it to help clients just like you heal and get back to doing the activities they love.

 

If you would like to take the full self-assessment to see how you can address your pain through the mindbody approach, it’s available here. If you believe this approach to healing could work for you please contact me on gemma@gemmamcfall.com

When pain strikes, it can be hard to know what to do. It can be overwhelming and leave you feeling helpless. But there are things you can do to help alleviate the pain and get back on track. This blog post, will explore four things you can do when pain strikes.

For instance, the other day, I felt my left arm randomly twitching and began to experience a headache. As someone familiar with the mind-body connection, I know that physical pain can stem from an emotional trigger. Therefore, I took a mind-body approach to alleviate my symptoms.

 

 

Here are the four steps to follow when pain strikes:

 

Step 1 – Think Emotionally, Not Physically

When we experience pain, our first instinct is to think we must get rid of the symptoms as soon as possible. It can be tempting to reach for medication.

Numbing the sensation with medication usually works quickly and allows us to get back to life but ‘getting rid of the pain’ is not the same as ‘healing the pain’. By masking the pain with medication, we are not getting to the root of the issue and the symptoms will be back only bigger and louder the next time. Or symptoms such as anxiety or difficulty sleeping will show up instead.

But following the mind-body approach is radically different.

In my case this week when my arm started twitching, I had to first recognise that I had pain. I initially thought that I wanted to get rid of it. Then I needed to reframe this and get curious. The question shouldn’t be ‘How can I get rid of this pain’. The question should be ‘I wonder what’s going on in my life that could be contributing to this pain’?

 

Step 2 – Recognize Emotions and Un-met Needs

Pain can often be a signal that some unmet needs or emotions need to be addressed. Take some time to reflect on what might be causing your pain. Are you feeling overwhelmed with work? Are you struggling with a relationship? Are you feeling disconnected from your community? By recognizing these underlying emotions and needs, you can start to take steps to address them and alleviate the pain.

I do this using a mind map. I draw a stick man in the middle of a page to represent me and then coming from this write all the things that could be bothering me. I usually start with the big stuff. In this case, we’re having issues with a property we own that’s becoming costly for us and there’s a lot of uncertainty about which direction to take. Then I list all the smaller things that are going on that could be bothering me. In this case one of the things I listed here was that it’s half-term and I’m not in my usual routine because the kids are at home more. I then include a section on how I feel about the pain or symptom itself. In this case, I’m nervous that the headache will get worse and affect a meeting that I have coming up. In the past when I’ve had much worse symptoms I’ve noted down that I had anger with the pain and fear for my future. And then finally I include all the things that ‘shouldn’t’ be bothering me but that could still be on my mind. In this case, we had guests arriving to stay. I love my friends and I want them to stay but I am sure deep in my subconscious I’m annoyed that I have to make all the beds and tidy up!

Doing a mind map like this allows us to get everything out of our minds and onto paper creating some space between us and the issues. You may be surprised at some of the things that come up when you start brainstorming and you could find some compassion for yourself at how much you have going on. You can then logically go through and decide which of the points you have control over and what if anything you want to do about each point. I sometimes put smiley faces next to each point to lighten the mood.

Then throw the paper away. You don’t need it any more. The act of getting it out of your head is done and you may find that your physical pain lessens. But always remember with mind-body healing the goal is not to chase away the pain. The goal is simply to get curious. When it comes to pain, what we resist persists.

 

Step 3 – Move Your Body

When we’re in pain, it can be tempting to curl up in bed and wait for it to pass. But every time we do this we are sending a signal to our mind that there is something physically wrong with us which only strengthens the neural pathway. The best approach is to continue with your daily activities as you would have done without the symptoms.

This week we had friends staying with us and we had many plans arranged. I woke up with a headache and it would have been easy to cancel the plans for an easier option of staying home. But by continuing with the plans I was able to send a clear message to my brain that I’m not scared of the pain which helps to break the pain fear cycle. 

I’ve also learnt that oftentimes headaches for me are linked to ‘not letting go and having enough fun’. Whilst we were out I found myself laughing with friends and I didn’t even think about the symptoms which over the day lessened.

As well as continuing with your usual plans for the day I would also encourage exercise despite the pain. Movement can help increase blood flow, reduce stiffness and can release endorphins helping you to de-stress. Go for a walk, do some light stretching, or engage in whatever physical activity you enjoy. For me it’s a 5km run with music, no sports watches timing me… just for fun.

 

Step 4 – Use Your Strengths

When we’re in pain, it can be easy to feel helpless and powerless. But it’s important to remember that we all have strengths that can help us overcome challenges. Take some time to think about your natural strengths. Are you a good listener? Are you creative? Are you good at problem-solving? Do you light up when you are with people?

When we use our strengths we feel stronger. And it can often put us in a state of flow when time flies.

And when we are in a state of flow it is difficult to also experience the pain symptoms as much.

One of my natural strengths is that I love being organized. I thrive when I have ‘to-do’ lists. In preparation for our guest’s arrival, I created a big task list and found myself slipping into crazy organisational mode and getting energy every time I ticked off a job. This is my strength and you need to find what lights you up.

By using your strengths, you can start to take control of the situation and find ways to alleviate the pain. And if you want to get out of your head and take attention away from your symptoms try and find ways to serve others using your natural strengths.

If you are not sure what your natural strengths are I would suggest taking Gallup Clifton Strengths Assessment. This is a tool I use with all clients to quickly help them to identify their areas of strength.

 

In conclusion, when pain strikes, it’s important to remember that there are things you can do to help alleviate it. By thinking emotionally, recognizing emotions and unmet needs, moving your body, and using your strengths, you can start to take control of the situation and find ways to feel better. So next time you’re in pain, be kind to yourself and give these strategies a try and see what works best for you.

 

If you’re interested in learning more, I offer daily reminders and tips on LinkedIn (LINK) And if you’re ready to explore coaching options, schedule a free Discovery call here (CLICK).

Let’s explore the very real impact of supporting someone with persistent pain both at work and at home.

 

During a podcast interview with Ryan Tyack from Potential is Human, I was asked me about how my husband, Chris, dealt with my chronic pain for so many years.

 

I realized what a huge topic this is 🤔

 

Living with chronic pain is difficult, but being around someone who is living with chronic pain is also challenging for different reasons.

If you’re the partner, boss, or coworker of someone in pain, you may experience one or more of these things:

1. Feeling helpless because if the doctor can’t help, what chance do you have?
2. Feeling the need to find and offer practical solutions, which are not always welcomed.
3. Guilt about living and enjoying your life without suffering.
4. Absorbing the heavy emotions of the person in pain.
5. Fear of the future. If this doesn’t get better…then what?

It’s hard to always be there for someone else, especially if it’s over a long period of time. It can take its toll on you.

 

Therefore, it’s essential to take care of your own mental, emotional, and physical health. On top of that, here are some practical tips to help you directly support the person who is suffering.

 

1. Avoid talking about the pain

Living with chronic pain can be all-consuming, but it’s important to remember that the pain doesn’t define the person. In fact, continually talking about the pain can actually make it worse. This is because pain is a neural pathway, and the more we focus on it, the stronger the pathway becomes, leading to more fear and discomfort. That’s why, as a first step, I always encourage my clients to shift their focus away from the pain and towards what they can do to improve their situation. By redirecting their thoughts and actions, they can start to take back control of their lives and reduce the hold that chronic pain has over them.

 

2. Help them name their emotions

It’s becoming increasingly clear that pain and emotions are intricately linked. Recent studies have shown that when someone is in pain, their emotional state can significantly impact their experience of that pain. As a friend, colleague, or loved one, you can help alleviate their suffering by encouraging them to identify and name the emotions they are feeling – be it frustration, anger, disappointment, or something else. This simple act can have a powerful effect, helping to release some of the tension and negativity that may be exacerbating their pain. By creating a safe space where they can openly express and process their emotions, you can help them move towards a greater sense of ease and comfort.

 

3. Create moments of joy

Creating moments of joy can be a powerful tool in managing chronic pain. It’s been scientifically proven that when we experience positive emotions, our brains release “happy chemicals” that can counteract feelings of pain. So, why not try to make someone smile today? In our home, we have a simple yet effective practice where we share what we are grateful for during dinner. This moment of reflection not only brings joy to our day but also builds up resilience, which is crucial in healing from chronic pain.

4. Suggest a mind-body approach

When it comes to chronic pain, the typical Western medical approach often only addresses the symptoms rather than the root cause. However, scientific research has shown that persistent pain is often the result of a learned neural pathway, which means it can be unlearned.

 

As a supportive friend, consider suggesting a mind-body approach to healing, which focuses on the interconnectedness of the body and mind. One way to get started is by taking a free quiz on my website called “Is Your Pain Curable?” This quiz can help identify if this approach is suitable for them.

 

It’s important to note that this approach may not be for everyone, and some people may be resistant to the idea. However, by making the suggestion, you can rest easy knowing that you’ve done what you can to support them in their journey towards healing.

 

In summary, living or working with someone in chronic pain can be challenging, but these are four steps you can take to help

 

1 – Don’t talk about the pain

2 – Help name emotions

3 – Create moments of joy

4 – Suggest a mind-body approach

 

By following these four steps, you can feel more in control and provide meaningful support.

 

Don’t forget to check out the latest podcast recording with Ryan for more tips on overcoming stress, anxiety, and chronic pain.

Remember, with the right mindset and support, anything is possible.

If you’re interested in learning more, I offer daily reminders and tips on LinkedIn (link) And if you’re ready to explore coaching options, schedule a free Discovery call here (CLICK).

You’re tossing and turning. It’s another sleepless night. Predictably… Fear kicks in.

• What if I don’t sleep again?
• What will happen tomorrow?
• What if this keeps happening to me?

Before long we’ve developed a fear of not sleeping which only makes matters worse.

 

Did you know? Some birds sleep with one eye open.

Why? Because half of their brain is alert whilst the other half is sleeping? This allows the bird to spring into action if there’s a threat.

Are you a bird? Of course not.

Unfortunately, as humans, we can’t sleep with one eye open whilst we scan the world for threats. We must choose between being asleep or staying awake.

Therefore, if we believe there’s some level of threat, humans can find it impossible to drop into a deep sleep.

I’m not just talking about physical threats. I’m also talking about stressful things that are playing on our minds. These can also be a threat.

Therefore, the best way to get a good night’s sleep is to find effective ways to settle your nervous system. So that we no longer feel the need to stay alert just in case.

Feeling safe enough to sleep starts from the minute we wake up and the actions we take throughout the day determine whether we will feel safe enough to sleep at night.

For this reason, I’ve broken down this article into 3 sections.

1 – Morning tips
2 – Daytime tips
3 – Evening tips

So here goes…

Morning Tips

Wake up at the same time every single day (no matter what)

I get it… the alarm has gone off and you can’t quite believe it’s that time already because you’ve only just fallen to sleep. However, the biggest mistake we make at this point is hitting the snooze button. Doing so gives us a feeling of having ‘failed’. But more importantly, our body clock starts from the minute we get up. The longer we lay in bed, the later it will be in the evening before your body thinks it’s time to sleep. If the time we get up each day is different no wonder our bodies don’t know when it’s time to sleep.

So next time your alarm goes off, do whatever it takes to crawl out of bed. Yes… You may be tired in the afternoon, but I will show you how to handle that later in this article.

Get up before everyone else

I can already hear your resistance to this point. I know you’ve probably not slept and want to enjoy every second of sleep before you have to get up. And maybe your kids wake up early and you can’t possibly imagine beating them to it.

But still… I stand by this point because it was a game-changer for me in my struggle with chronic pain and terrible sleep.

Whilst we are lying in bed our nervous systems are somewhat calm, even if we’ve slept badly. Then suddenly from nowhere a loud alarm goes off, kids are jumping on you and the dog is barking to be fed. Before you know it, you’re running around the house like a headless chicken trying to get everyone organized for the day whilst at the same time panicking that you haven’t slept which means you will be tired all day. Our nervous system has no idea what’s happening but does its best to keep up with us.

Now imagine this…

Your alarm goes off with a soft vibration alert. You know everyone else is sleeping which gives you 45 minutes of calm time. You savour your perfect cup of tea, maybe sit, and read a chapter of the book you’ve been meaning to finish, and you may even sneak out for a walk around the neighbourhood.

The key here is that you have uninterrupted time to experience what it feels like to have a calm nervous system. Our bodies are extra receptive in the mornings so it’s likely that once we’ve experienced this state of calm, we are more likely to continue our day feeling this way.

The more pockets of time during the day that we can calm our nervous system the better our sleep will be at night.

And finally on this point… The earlier we get up the sooner our body clock resets so that we are ready to fall asleep at night.

Let daylight into your eyes ASAP

Getting daylight into your eyes as soon as possible after waking tells your body clearly that in 12 hours it’s time to sleep. Making your chances of falling asleep far better.

Sitting by a window for breakfast would work but the ultimate treat for yourself would be a quiet walk around the streets. Even if it’s raining and miserable, fresh air, daylight and movement will help your body clock kick start. I promise.

Resist the phone for as long as you can

It’s sad that for many of us, the first thing we do on waking is to check to see if we have any messages or notifications. And even worse we take a sneaky look at social media apps just in case we’ve missed anything. And whilst we are there we may as well check out the news headlines.

Each one of these actions will activate your nervous system without you even realizing it.

What could be on your phone that couldn’t wait an hour or two?

Give yourself the freedom of enjoying the first part of your day distraction-free. This will help keep your nervous system nice and calm for longer.

Which as you know will help your sleep at night.

Daytime Tips

Imagine your nervous system on a sliding scale which fluctuates throughout the day. To get a good night’s sleep the aim is to keep our nervous system as calm as we can throughout the day.

When are you most stressed?

At times throughout the day, you will notice that your nervous system is on high alert. This could feel like you’re holding your breath, clenching your teeth, or anxiously looking around. For some people, myself included, physical pain shows up at these times. Tension in the back, shoulders, jaw etc.

Once we start to notice these moments of stress, we can put measures in place to consciously regulate the nervous system.

My anxiety is at its worst between 3.30 pm – 4.30 pm. It doesn’t matter why. What matters is that I notice and aim to settle it. Here are some techniques you can use throughout the day to calm your nervous system which will in turn help you sleep at night.

Yoga Nidra / Non-Sleep Deep Rest

Yoga Nidra is a guided meditation we do whilst laying down in a quiet room. In just 10 minutes our entire body can fall into a state of calm. But the idea is that we don’t go to sleep. It feels like a massage for the mind. And it teaches us that we can be calm even without sleeping.

If you’re like many people with chronic pain and do not sleep at night this is a great way to quickly recharge your batteries in a really short time.

Having techniques as powerful as this also means we can get up early regardless of the lack of sleep because we can tap into this any time of the day to supercharge ourselves.

This is my favourite and easiest technique to find pockets of peace when I’m stressed or tired.

Meditation

Many of my clients swear by meditation. I find meditation easiest first thing in the morning when my mind is already calm. But later in the day when my monkey mind is on over-drive, I use you-tube meditations as an easy option.

Exercise

Although this is obvious, exercise ensures our body is physically tired enough to sleep.

I would suggest you test out what works best for you. Are you a morning exercise person or an evening one? For me, I find morning exercise helps me sleep and evening exercise tends to keep me awake. But everyone is different.

Struggling to get motivated because you’re tired?

Go for something easy and make use of tools to help you.

The Nike Run app has excellent guided runs. Last week I did a run titled “A run for when you don’t want to run”.

And ‘Yoga with Kassandra” can be found for free on youtube. She has great 10 minute videos and is very motivating.

Technology Tips

These days we’ve all become a little bit obsessed with checking our phones. On average Americans check their phones 344 times a day. That’s once every 4 minutes.

I doubt you can remember the feeling of freedom we used to have before mobile phones.

I don’t suggest we bin our phones but please know that every time we feel the need to check the phone, whether we check it or not, we are evoking a stress response in our bodies.

I’ve deleted all social media apps, news apps and even my e-mail from my phone. It’s been a game-changer for me. If you can’t bring yourself to do this, then at least consider turning off the notifications.

Looking at our phones when we are about to go to sleep does two things.

Firstly, the blue light that’s emitted from your phone stimulates your brain and fools it into thinking it’s daytime. This blue light is saying to our brains “Oh look! There’s bright light… It’s time to wake up”. Instead of falling to sleep your body clock may reset, think it’s morning and try to give you 12 more hours of awake time.

And lastly, do you really want to have some random person’s face from WhatsApp, Facebook or Instagram on your mind as you drift off into sleep? Probably not.

Most things we see on social media will in some way trigger our stress response. So best not to do this just before we try and sleep.

Alcohol & Caffeine

Too much caffeine during the day and we struggle to sleep at night. This is a fact.

But many people believe the opposite to be true of alcohol.

I’ve heard people say they need a glass of wine to help them relax so they can sleep. Whilst it may help you to fall to sleep it will prevent you from getting any deep sleep. And numbing our nervous systems does little to solve the sleep problem long term.

Evening Tips

So it’s coming up to the time we ‘should’ be sleeping. The fear starts to creep in. What if I can’t sleep again?

Notice this very thought is keeping you locked in the pain-fear cycle. The more fear we have of sleeping, the more ramped up our nervous system will be. This gives a signal to our bodies that we need to keep one eye open just like the birds to look out for threats.

As we get better at calming our nervous system during the day our bodies will start to get used to feeling calm and this will extend through to bedtime.

But… having said that when we first start with the techniques mentioned here there may still be evenings that are a struggle.

So here are my top tips for when you find yourself staring at the ceiling while the rest of the world is snoring.

Tapping / EFT Emotional Freedom Technique

Tapping on different parts of the body helps balance energy and reduce the physical and emotional pain. You watch a YouTube video of someone tapping and talking and you just copy.

If you’ve never come across tapping before you may think I’ve lost my marbles.

But I swear by this technique. It works like acupuncture whereby we are releasing energy flow in the body.

So next time you find yourself wide awake, find a tapping video for sleep and give it a go. You might be surprised.

Reading

If we can’t sleep the worse thing, we could do is to continue to lie awake panicking, especially when we’ve spent all day trying to soothe our nervous system.

So put on a reading light and enjoy a few chapters of your book. And trust that your body will sleep when it’s ready to sleep. If you truly need more sleep tomorrow, there’s always Yoga Nidra to give you a boost!

Mind Map

One of the reasons we struggle to sleep is because of our busy minds. For many people, the first time we get a moment to ourselves is when we put our heads on that pillow.

So of course, this is when we start trying to make sense of everything from past events, the things we are dealing with day to day and even things about our future.

Although these things are just thoughts our bodies perceive them as very real threats. And it would be impossible to sleep if there were any threats. Even something as simple as needing to remember to pack the swimming kits for the kids in the morning can seem like a threat at nighttime.

Before you go to bed jot down everything you possibly can that could be on your mind. Let the pen flow including big and small things. Make sure you leave that notepad next to your bed. This way if you notice a thought swimming around when you’re trying to sleep you can roll over and write it down.

As a rule… Better out than in when it comes to thoughts at night.

Gratitude Practice

Running away from the fear of lack of sleep is exhausting. But what if instead, we could focus on running towards joy.

Starting a simple gratitude practice at bedtime will help you to shine a light on all the positive aspects of the day. Just listing 3-5 things that have happened to you during the day that you’re grateful for can send very powerful calming signals to your brain.

Then as you lay down instead of counting sheep which is both boring and stupid, try thinking back to the start of your day. What was the first thing you were grateful for, imagine it fully. Then follow it with the thought of the next thing. Continue this enjoyable process until you reach the end of the day and then start again from the beginning either with new points or the same points.

What matters here is that the thoughts we have as we drift off to sleep bring us a feeling of joy and safety.

Final thoughts

For someone that’s already frustrated about not sleeping, this may seem like information overload, but the underlying message is the same.

If we want to sleep better at night, we need to feel safe.

We need to feel safe throughout the day… not just at night.

And we do this by taking action to settle our busy nervous systems. Unfortunately, our nervous systems will not settle themselves. We must take action and make changes if we want to sleep better.

What is one action you can start taking today?