If you’ve found yourself battling with anxiety or chronic pain, you’re not alone. Many of my clients share a common thread beyond their specific struggles – they’re self-professed people-pleasers.

In this week’s blog post, we’ll dive into the fascinating world of people-pleasing and how it intertwines with anxiety and chronic pain. So, sit back, relax, and let’s explore this intricate connection together.

 

The People-Pleasing Predicament

Imagine this: You’re at a gathering, a friend asks for a favour, and you immediately say yes, despite feeling overwhelmed with other commitments. Or perhaps you find yourself constantly prioritizing others’ needs over your own, even to your detriment. If these scenarios sound all too familiar, you might be a people-pleaser.

People-pleasers have an insatiable desire to make others happy, often at the expense of their well-being. While this may seem admirable on the surface, it can be a double-edged sword. Let’s delve into the reasons why people-pleasing has become a preferred strategy for many.

 

The Safety Net of People Pleasing

  1. Social Acceptance and Safety: Human beings are wired for connection, and throughout history, being part of a tribe meant safety. People pleasing triggers positive responses from others, increasing your chances of being liked and accepted, thus ensuring your safety within the group.
  2. Feeling of Importance: When you meet others’ needs, you feel valued and significant. This boosts your self-esteem and contributes to a sense of belonging, reducing the fear of being cast aside from the social circle.
  3. Distraction from Inner Turmoil: The constant act of catering to others’ desires can keep you preoccupied, leaving less mental space for negative self-talk and physical discomfort, which often accompany anxiety and chronic pain.

 

While these benefits may offer a temporary reprieve, they can also become a tangled web that exacerbates the very issues you’re trying to escape.

 

The People-Pleasing Puzzle and Your Health

Here’s where the plot thickens: If you’re battling anxiety or chronic pain, your people-pleasing tendencies might be playing a larger role than you realize. Research suggests that chronic stress, a common byproduct of people-pleasing, can amplify physical discomfort and worsen pain perception. So, that back pain you’ve been experiencing might have more to do with your people-pleasing habits than you initially thought.

 

Rewriting the Script: Strategies for Overcoming People Pleasing

Recognizing your people-pleasing tendencies is the first step towards reclaiming your well-being. Here are some strategies to help you break free from this pattern:

  1. Awareness is Key: Start by identifying moments when you prioritize others over yourself. Who are you with? What activity is taking place? Acknowledge the emotions that surface – resentment, anger, frustration.
  2. Connect Emotions and Physical Sensations: Pay attention to where you feel these emotions in your body. The mind-body connection is powerful, and understanding how emotions manifest physically can lead to profound insights.
  3. Embrace Self-Care: Shift your focus towards self-care and setting healthy boundaries. Remember, taking care of yourself is not selfish – it’s a vital step towards lasting well-being.
  4. Seek Professional Guidance: If you find that your people-pleasing tendencies are deeply ingrained, consider seeking the guidance of a professional, such as an executive coach, who specializes in anxiety and chronic pain.

 

Conclusion: Putting Yourself First

As we wrap up this exploration into the world of people pleasing, remember that prioritizing your well-being doesn’t make you selfish; it makes you resilient. Breaking free from the people-pleasing cycle might be the missing piece in your journey towards conquering anxiety and chronic pain. So, the next time you catch yourself saying “yes” when you mean “no,” pause and consider the impact on your well-being. You are worthy of care, and embracing your own needs is a powerful step towards a healthier, happier you.

 

Do you recognize people-pleasing tendencies in yourself?

Until next time, Gemma 🌼

 

Gemma is an Executive Coach specializing in Anxiety & Chronic Pain. Gemma believes that nothing is more important than your health. If anxiety or chronic pain is a hurdle you’re facing, consider Gemma as your guide towards lasting well-being. Click here to schedule a free discovery call

Are you struggling with persistent pain?

If yes, you’re probably already doing everything you can from a medical point of view. You may have seen doctors or specialists, your possibly taking medication and you may have even considered surgery. By now you’re probably frustrated going around in circles, feeling helpless and no closer to finding a solution.

 

But Why Is It So Hard to Find a Solution to Chronic Pain?

The traditional medical model tends to explore our specific symptoms in isolation and doesn’t look at us as a whole person. Instead…. It’s time for us to take a step back and look at the body as a whole. In most cases when pain has persisted for more than 3 months, it’s not just a structural issue. Your brain is likely sending incorrect pain signals to your body.

 

This condition is referred to by a few names including neuroplastic pain, Tension Myositis Syndrome (TMS) or mind-body condition.

 

Modern pain science and research have come a long way in the past decade and clearly show the direct link between pain and the brain.

 

In this article, I will share with you the latest science and research so that you can learn why for many people the brain is misfiring signals to the body causing persistent and often excruciating pain. But most importantly you will discover if you can address your specific symptoms using the mind-body approach to healing so that you can get back to enjoying your life just like before.

 

Pain Science 101: Understanding Pain

Most people have pain and then heal as expected but for others, the pain persists sometimes for years.

If you’ve been suffering from symptoms on and off for more than 3 months then this would be considered chronic pain.

The reason we have pain is to protect us from something. For example, if we touch a hot stove then nerve signals would send a message of pain to the brain so that we pull away. Pain is very useful.

To describe how pain works, I will use cycling as an example. Once we learn to ride a bike we never forget. This is because a neural pathway is established that gets stronger the more we do it. Each time we jump on a bike it’s easier than the time before because the neural pathway gets stronger.

Pain acts in the same way. When we experience pain, a neural pathway is established. The longer we feel the pain the stronger the pathway becomes. Even once the injury has healed we can still feel the pain because the pain has now become a learned response. In other words, our brains are misfiring signals of pain to the body.

 

But Why Does This Happen To Some People And Not Others?

This is down to how effectively our nervous system is working. Our nervous systems activate and send pain signals when there is danger whether this is physical or emotional and turn off when the danger has passed.

But sometimes our brains get it wrong. They can perceive something as being a threat even when it’s not really a threat. This is called a prediction error. When our brain gets a prediction error it sends signals to make us stay in high alert. This is known as the fight or flight response. Whilst our nervous system continues to think we are in danger we will continue to get pain and over time the pain can get worse.

 

There are three main reasons why our brains may make the prediction error.

1 – Fear pain itself

2 – Personality types

3 – Past experiences

 

How Your Fear of Pain May Be Contributing To Your Pain

Just because you see something on an MRI scan doesn’t necessarily mean this is what is causing pain. In several studies, they have proven that if you take a group of people experiencing no back pain more than half of them would show some kind of abnormality on their scan. The number of abnormalities we see on MRI scans of people with no pain also increases with age. This shows that degeneration of the spine is just a natural sign of aging. But once we have seen an MRI scan our brains interpret this as scary and we quickly find ourselves in the pain-fear cycle.

 

There is also no link between the amount of pain someone is experiencing and structural damage. In a famous example, a construction worker had a nail go through his foot. He was screaming in pain until they removed the boot and found that the nail had gone right between his toes. He had very real pain because his brain was sending pain signals to protect him from the pain based on the information his brain had.

 

So far we’ve talked mostly about musculoskeletal issues but what about neurological conditions such as migraines or fibromyalgia?

 

We now know from modern pain science that neural pathways that cause pain can be learnt. This also means that pain can be unlearnt. Once we understand how pain works and we can get ourselves out of the pain-fear cycle we can create new non-pain pathways. So therefore neurological conditions can be addressed using the same approach because the pain was created in the first place by nerves.

 

How Your Personality May Be Contributing To Your Pain

Some personality traits put undue pressure on ourselves, which leads to self-induced stress. Our brain may perceive a prediction error that our personality is putting us in danger and activate the nervous system’s fight-or-flight response. If you have any of the following personality traits your chronic pain is more likely to be due to neuroplastic pain.

 

  • Perfectionism
  • People-pleasing
  • Non-confrontational
  • Overthinking
  • Highly empathetic
  • Analytical
  • High expectations of self
  • Self-critical
  • Resentful
  • Competitive
  • Need to be in control
  • Low self-esteem
  • Need to be liked
  • Feeling anxious
  • Driven
  • Need to be helpful
  • Overly responsible
  • Reliable

 

How Past Events May Be Contributing To Your Pain

The ACEs study has shown a direct correlation between childhood trauma and chronic pain in adults. If you experienced any difficult situations as a child, your nervous system would have been working hard to protect you. It will have learnt which things are dangerous and prepared you with the fight or flight response. However, if these events continued over time, your nervous system switch would have become exhausted, leaving you in a constant state of stress. This makes it difficult to recognize as an adult when you’re feeling stressed because it’s your new normal.

If you’ve experienced any of the following events, they could be contributing to your pain because your brain may still be protecting you from these events even though they happened in the past.

  • Physical, emotional, or sexual abuse
  • Divorce or separation of parents
  • Incarceration of a family member
  • Witness or experience physical or emotional abuse?
  • Have anyone in your household depressed or mentally ill?
  • Live with anyone that had a drink or drug problem?
  • Often feel you were not loved?

 

You don’t have to have experienced trauma to have chronic pain but it’s just more evidence that your condition could be neuroplastic pain.

 

This article has taught you that not all pain is structural and that pain pathways can be learned and unlearned. You have also been able to gain evidence that your pain could be due to your brain’s misfiring signals around the body. Firstly because of the fear of the pain itself, your personality type and lastly because of past life events.

 

How Do I Get Rid of My Pain?

The good news is that there is a solution that people all around the world have already used to heal their pain. The bad news is that it is unlikely that you will hear this from your physician. Why? Because it takes approximately 20 years from when medical science and research is completed to when this knowledge gets to the front line and they teach this at medical school.

 

Here Are Four Things You Can Do To Address Your Pain

 

1 – You must first rule out life-threatening conditions, Infection, cancer and auto-immune conditions. Your doctor can help advise on this. Then educate yourself on neuroplastic pain and notice if and when you are in the pain fear cycle. There is a free self-assessment video that may help you on my website – CLICK HERE

 

2 – Empower yourself to use your personality to feel strong rather than to cause stress. What personality traits do you have and how can you find ways to use your personality differently? Using a personality assessment such as Gallup Clifton Strengths can help with this. And working with a professional coach can help you find strategies.

 

3 – Explore how past events could be contributing to your pain. List what events you experienced in your past and recognize how this could be contributing to your pain. Use methods such as journalling or working with a professional to process past emotions.

 

4 – Empower yourself to find ways to calm your nervous system throughout your day using techniques such as meditation, mindfulness, gratitude, yoga, exercise and slow breathing.

 

I hope that one-day pain science and research will become mainstream and taught in all schools but for now, I hope this article has helped you to understand why you may have chronic pain and a few things you can do to get on the right path to healing.

 

After healing from a decade of lower back pain, I created the unique freedom from pain healing system which takes you through all four of these stages. I’ve successfully used it to help clients just like you heal and get back to doing the activities they love.

 

If you would like to take the full self-assessment to see how you can address your pain through the mindbody approach, it’s available here. If you believe this approach to healing could work for you please contact me on gemma@gemmamcfall.com

This blog post is a first-hand account of one of my clients, Hermione, who has been dealing with persistent pain for over a year. Throughout her journey, she has learned valuable lessons about life, mortality, and the power of the subconscious mind. Despite the challenges she has faced, Hermione has come a long way and has gained new insights and perspectives that have transformed her life.

 

 

In Hermione’s Words…

Living with persistent pain can be a challenging and isolating experience. Whether it’s physical or emotional pain, the effects can be debilitating and can have a profound impact on your life. As someone who has been dealing with persistent pain for over a year, I have learned some important lessons that have taught me about life and my own mortality.

 

Nothing in Life is Guaranteed

The first and perhaps most significant lesson I’ve learned is that nothing in life is guaranteed. No matter how much we plan or prepare, we ultimately have no control over what may happen to us. This realization has made me acutely aware of my own mortality, and it has taught me to appreciate the time I have and to make the most of every moment.

 

The Power of the Subconscious Mind

Living with persistent pain has also taught me about the power of the subconscious mind. Even if you don’t feel like you are stressed, your subconscious mind can still decide that something is too overwhelming and make your life a living hell with physical symptoms. I’ve also come to understand that physical pain can be caused by stress, anxiety, and repressed emotions. It’s essential to use your voice and communicate your emotions rather than keeping them bottled up inside.

One of the most challenging aspects of living with persistent pain is the pain-fear cycle. Once you have pain, it’s easy to fall into a cycle of fear, which can exacerbate the pain and make it harder to break out of. It’s also easy to feel depressed when you have constant pain, with no clear way to turn it off. But just knowing and understanding the neuroscience of pain helps to break this cycle.

 

No Magic Pill or Quick Fix for Persistent Pain

Another lesson I’ve learned is that there is no magic pill or quick fix for persistent pain. Once your nervous system is out of balance, it takes time and a lifestyle change to restore balance. This experience has been transformative for me, and it has inspired me to one day become a counsellor or therapist to help others who are dealing with similar challenges.

One of the positive things I’ve learned from living with persistent pain is that it has opened my eyes to the suffering in the world. Even though my pain is not physically debilitating, it is still wearing on my soul to have constant electric shocks or throbs every few seconds. But, despite the challenges, I am grateful that there is nothing anatomically wrong, and it is just my brain stuck in fight or flight mode.

 

Healing May Not be Easy

While the journey towards healing may not be easy, it’s important to acknowledge and celebrate even small victories along the way. Although I’m not completely free of pain, it’s encouraging to recognize that it has decreased. What’s even more significant is that I’m able to see the progress I’m making towards full recovery. This positive outlook can make all the difference in your healing journey, as we hold on to the hope and belief that the pain can continue to decrease until it’s gone entirely. Remember to keep looking forward, one step at a time, and celebrate every milestone along the way.

 

Don’t Let Persistent Pain Control Your Life

If Hermione’s story resonates with you, it’s important to know that you’re not alone. Dealing with persistent pain can be challenging, both physically and emotionally, but there is support and help available to manage or even heal it.

Educating yourself on the neuroscience of pain is a great place to start, and taking steps to regulate your nervous system can greatly improve your quality of life. If you or someone you know is struggling with persistent pain, don’t suffer in silence. Take action today and reach out for support.

 

Living with persistent pain has been a challenging and transformative experience. I’ve learned some valuable lessons about life and my own mortality, the power of the subconscious mind, the importance of communication, the pain-fear cycle, and the need for lifestyle changes to restore balance. Although it has been a difficult journey, I am grateful for the lessons I’ve learned and the person I’ve become as a result.

 

Get Started

To get started, check out this free video that walks you through a self-assessment to determine if a mind-body approach, similar to what Hermione has used, could benefit your condition. This resource provides you with the tools and knowledge you need to begin your journey towards pain relief and improved well-being.

Remember, there is hope and healing available to you. Don’t let persistent pain control your life. Take action today and start on the path towards a healthier, happier you.

 

Click here for your Free Self-Assessment Video

When pain strikes, it can be hard to know what to do. It can be overwhelming and leave you feeling helpless. But there are things you can do to help alleviate the pain and get back on track. This blog post, will explore four things you can do when pain strikes.

For instance, the other day, I felt my left arm randomly twitching and began to experience a headache. As someone familiar with the mind-body connection, I know that physical pain can stem from an emotional trigger. Therefore, I took a mind-body approach to alleviate my symptoms.

 

 

Here are the four steps to follow when pain strikes:

 

Step 1 – Think Emotionally, Not Physically

When we experience pain, our first instinct is to think we must get rid of the symptoms as soon as possible. It can be tempting to reach for medication.

Numbing the sensation with medication usually works quickly and allows us to get back to life but ‘getting rid of the pain’ is not the same as ‘healing the pain’. By masking the pain with medication, we are not getting to the root of the issue and the symptoms will be back only bigger and louder the next time. Or symptoms such as anxiety or difficulty sleeping will show up instead.

But following the mind-body approach is radically different.

In my case this week when my arm started twitching, I had to first recognise that I had pain. I initially thought that I wanted to get rid of it. Then I needed to reframe this and get curious. The question shouldn’t be ‘How can I get rid of this pain’. The question should be ‘I wonder what’s going on in my life that could be contributing to this pain’?

 

Step 2 – Recognize Emotions and Un-met Needs

Pain can often be a signal that some unmet needs or emotions need to be addressed. Take some time to reflect on what might be causing your pain. Are you feeling overwhelmed with work? Are you struggling with a relationship? Are you feeling disconnected from your community? By recognizing these underlying emotions and needs, you can start to take steps to address them and alleviate the pain.

I do this using a mind map. I draw a stick man in the middle of a page to represent me and then coming from this write all the things that could be bothering me. I usually start with the big stuff. In this case, we’re having issues with a property we own that’s becoming costly for us and there’s a lot of uncertainty about which direction to take. Then I list all the smaller things that are going on that could be bothering me. In this case one of the things I listed here was that it’s half-term and I’m not in my usual routine because the kids are at home more. I then include a section on how I feel about the pain or symptom itself. In this case, I’m nervous that the headache will get worse and affect a meeting that I have coming up. In the past when I’ve had much worse symptoms I’ve noted down that I had anger with the pain and fear for my future. And then finally I include all the things that ‘shouldn’t’ be bothering me but that could still be on my mind. In this case, we had guests arriving to stay. I love my friends and I want them to stay but I am sure deep in my subconscious I’m annoyed that I have to make all the beds and tidy up!

Doing a mind map like this allows us to get everything out of our minds and onto paper creating some space between us and the issues. You may be surprised at some of the things that come up when you start brainstorming and you could find some compassion for yourself at how much you have going on. You can then logically go through and decide which of the points you have control over and what if anything you want to do about each point. I sometimes put smiley faces next to each point to lighten the mood.

Then throw the paper away. You don’t need it any more. The act of getting it out of your head is done and you may find that your physical pain lessens. But always remember with mind-body healing the goal is not to chase away the pain. The goal is simply to get curious. When it comes to pain, what we resist persists.

 

Step 3 – Move Your Body

When we’re in pain, it can be tempting to curl up in bed and wait for it to pass. But every time we do this we are sending a signal to our mind that there is something physically wrong with us which only strengthens the neural pathway. The best approach is to continue with your daily activities as you would have done without the symptoms.

This week we had friends staying with us and we had many plans arranged. I woke up with a headache and it would have been easy to cancel the plans for an easier option of staying home. But by continuing with the plans I was able to send a clear message to my brain that I’m not scared of the pain which helps to break the pain fear cycle. 

I’ve also learnt that oftentimes headaches for me are linked to ‘not letting go and having enough fun’. Whilst we were out I found myself laughing with friends and I didn’t even think about the symptoms which over the day lessened.

As well as continuing with your usual plans for the day I would also encourage exercise despite the pain. Movement can help increase blood flow, reduce stiffness and can release endorphins helping you to de-stress. Go for a walk, do some light stretching, or engage in whatever physical activity you enjoy. For me it’s a 5km run with music, no sports watches timing me… just for fun.

 

Step 4 – Use Your Strengths

When we’re in pain, it can be easy to feel helpless and powerless. But it’s important to remember that we all have strengths that can help us overcome challenges. Take some time to think about your natural strengths. Are you a good listener? Are you creative? Are you good at problem-solving? Do you light up when you are with people?

When we use our strengths we feel stronger. And it can often put us in a state of flow when time flies.

And when we are in a state of flow it is difficult to also experience the pain symptoms as much.

One of my natural strengths is that I love being organized. I thrive when I have ‘to-do’ lists. In preparation for our guest’s arrival, I created a big task list and found myself slipping into crazy organisational mode and getting energy every time I ticked off a job. This is my strength and you need to find what lights you up.

By using your strengths, you can start to take control of the situation and find ways to alleviate the pain. And if you want to get out of your head and take attention away from your symptoms try and find ways to serve others using your natural strengths.

If you are not sure what your natural strengths are I would suggest taking Gallup Clifton Strengths Assessment. This is a tool I use with all clients to quickly help them to identify their areas of strength.

 

In conclusion, when pain strikes, it’s important to remember that there are things you can do to help alleviate it. By thinking emotionally, recognizing emotions and unmet needs, moving your body, and using your strengths, you can start to take control of the situation and find ways to feel better. So next time you’re in pain, be kind to yourself and give these strategies a try and see what works best for you.

 

If you’re interested in learning more, I offer daily reminders and tips on LinkedIn (LINK) And if you’re ready to explore coaching options, schedule a free Discovery call here (CLICK).

When physicians are not able to find the root cause of our chronic pain, the next step is almost always to have an MRI or CT scan.

But should we?

Before blindly being led down the Western medical route this article will help you to question what is right for you.

MRI and CT scans are valuable for diagnosing acute injuries and planning surgeries. However, in cases of chronic pain, such as back pain, relying solely on scans I would suggest is not the best option.

Scans Can Do More Harm Than Good – Find Out Why

 

This article uncovers three things you should know about MRI and CT scans.

Abnormal MRI Scans Are Normal

Many people don’t realize that it’s normal to have an abnormal MRI scan.

 

In 2015, a study was done in which 3110 people who had zero pain had an MRI scan.

The results are grouped by age and show what percentage had disk degeneration. The results are mindblowing:

 

20-year-olds = 37%

50-year-olds = 80%

80-year-olds = 96%

 

The results clearly show that it’s normal to have abnormalities show up on an MRI scan. And the older you get the more likely you are to find abnormalities.

When medical professionals show patients their abnormal scans without explaining that it is normal to find abnormalities, it can lead to fear which reinforces pain neural pathways that can significantly increase pain.

 

This begs the question…. When it’s normal to have an abnormal MRI scan why do them at all?

 

Physicians Receive a Financial Incentive For Ordering Lab Tests

 

For acute pain following an injury, it’s very useful to have a scan and find out what needs to be done to help the patient heal.

 

And, when it comes to pain that has persisted for several months after all the obvious treatments there is very little physicians can do. They feel helpless but they have to do something because we as patients continue to go back for answers. And so a scan is ordered and the never-ending search goes on to find the root cause of the pain. What else can they do?

 

It surprised me to learn that some physicians receive financial incentives for ordering imaging tests and they also generate a good revenue stream for hospitals.

In a 2013 study published in JAMA Internal Medicine, the results showed that physicians who received revenue-sharing payments ordered imaging tests at a higher rate than those who did not receive such payments.

If ordering imaging tests helps to line the pockets of the physicians and generates revenue for the hospitals then we could argue that there is no harm done.

 

But unfortunately, there is harm done.

 

When a patient sees the results of an MRI scan it can cause unnecessary panic and fear. This fear can fuel the pain fear cycle, making pain worse and limiting hope for recovery. This fear can also cause secondary issues for the patient including anxiety and depression.

 

Seeing Scan Results Leaves Us Powerless

 

I can vividly remember a surgeon showing me my MRI scan and explaining just how bad it looked. He used language I didn’t understand and to make sure I really understood what he was saying he demonstrated with a model of a spine using a little red disk to show how the bulge was never going to go unless I had surgery.

I left his clinic in a state of shock. I couldn’t believe after so many years of living with pain I wasn’t able to beat this and had to finally resort to surgery.

Once we see the damage on our MRI scans, we understandably feel helpless and are left with little choice but to hand over control to the medical team. This can increase fear and pain, leading to a sense of hopelessness.

 

What’s The Alternative?

 

Instead of relying solely on MRI scans for chronic pain, we should consider the bigger picture.

Structural damage is not usually the cause of chronic pain; neural plasticity plays a big role. By understanding the modern science behind pain, how and why neural pathways are misfiring we can learn to reverse this pattern and regain control of our situation and heal our pain.

I suffered years of back pain and many scans, hours of physiotherapy and always bad news from physicians. But once I zoomed out and discovered the root cause of the issue was to do with neuroplasticity I healed in just a few months.

If I can do it, you can too. But not if you keep looking at those scans!

 

If you’ve been struggling with chronic pain for more than three months, please contact me to find out more about how I can help you get rid of your pain.

I will help you get to the root cause of your pain, teach you practical tools and help you to rewire the pain signals. With the right approach, healing is possible.

 

If you want to discover if your pain is curable, click here to take our self-assessment quiz today and take the first step towards a pain-free life.

Let’s explore the very real impact of supporting someone with persistent pain both at work and at home.

 

During a podcast interview with Ryan Tyack from Potential is Human, I was asked me about how my husband, Chris, dealt with my chronic pain for so many years.

 

I realized what a huge topic this is 🤔

 

Living with chronic pain is difficult, but being around someone who is living with chronic pain is also challenging for different reasons.

If you’re the partner, boss, or coworker of someone in pain, you may experience one or more of these things:

  1. Feeling helpless because if the doctor can’t help, what chance do you have?
  2. Feeling the need to find and offer practical solutions, which are not always welcomed.
  3. Guilt about living and enjoying your life without suffering.
  4. Absorbing the heavy emotions of the person in pain.
  5. Fear of the future. If this doesn’t get better…then what?

It’s hard to always be there for someone else, especially if it’s over a long period of time. It can take its toll on you.

 

Therefore, it’s essential to take care of your own mental, emotional, and physical health. On top of that, here are some practical tips to help you directly support the person who is suffering.

 

1. Avoid talking about the pain

Living with chronic pain can be all-consuming, but it’s important to remember that the pain doesn’t define the person. In fact, continually talking about the pain can actually make it worse. This is because pain is a neural pathway, and the more we focus on it, the stronger the pathway becomes, leading to more fear and discomfort. That’s why, as a first step, I always encourage my clients to shift their focus away from the pain and towards what they can do to improve their situation. By redirecting their thoughts and actions, they can start to take back control of their lives and reduce the hold that chronic pain has over them.

 

2. Help them name their emotions

It’s becoming increasingly clear that pain and emotions are intricately linked. Recent studies have shown that when someone is in pain, their emotional state can significantly impact their experience of that pain. As a friend, colleague, or loved one, you can help alleviate their suffering by encouraging them to identify and name the emotions they are feeling – be it frustration, anger, disappointment, or something else. This simple act can have a powerful effect, helping to release some of the tension and negativity that may be exacerbating their pain. By creating a safe space where they can openly express and process their emotions, you can help them move towards a greater sense of ease and comfort.

 

3. Create moments of joy

Creating moments of joy can be a powerful tool in managing chronic pain. It’s been scientifically proven that when we experience positive emotions, our brains release “happy chemicals” that can counteract feelings of pain. So, why not try to make someone smile today? In our home, we have a simple yet effective practice where we share what we are grateful for during dinner. This moment of reflection not only brings joy to our day but also builds up resilience, which is crucial in healing from chronic pain.

4. Suggest a mind-body approach

When it comes to chronic pain, the typical Western medical approach often only addresses the symptoms rather than the root cause. However, scientific research has shown that persistent pain is often the result of a learned neural pathway, which means it can be unlearned.

 

As a supportive friend, consider suggesting a mind-body approach to healing, which focuses on the interconnectedness of the body and mind. One way to get started is by taking a free quiz on my website called “Is Your Pain Curable?” This quiz can help identify if this approach is suitable for them.

 

It’s important to note that this approach may not be for everyone, and some people may be resistant to the idea. However, by making the suggestion, you can rest easy knowing that you’ve done what you can to support them in their journey towards healing.

 

In summary, living or working with someone in chronic pain can be challenging, but these are four steps you can take to help

 

1 – Don’t talk about the pain

2 – Help name emotions

3 – Create moments of joy

4 – Suggest a mind-body approach

 

By following these four steps, you can feel more in control and provide meaningful support.

 

Don’t forget to check out the latest podcast recording with Ryan for more tips on overcoming stress, anxiety, and chronic pain.

Remember, with the right mindset and support, anything is possible.

If you’re interested in learning more, I offer daily reminders and tips on LinkedIn (link) And if you’re ready to explore coaching options, schedule a free Discovery call here (CLICK).

In this post, I will be sharing the 4 steps to healing chronic pain, a topic that affects many people and can be frustrating to deal with.

 

It’s not uncommon for those experiencing pain to feel overwhelmed and hopeless, especially when medical professionals are unable to provide a clear diagnosis.

 

About 1 in 4 people who see a GP have physical symptoms that cannot be explained.

 

As a result, people often adjust their lifestyles to accommodate the pain, and it becomes their new normal.

I can relate to this experience, as my chronic back pain forced me to give up activities I loved, such as dancing and running.

I rearranged my home to make things more accessible and gave up wearing heels, all in an effort to manage my pain.

 

But what if I told you there’s another way to manage chronic pain, one that involves a holistic approach and a better understanding of the root causes of pain? Here are the 4 steps to healing chronic pain.

 

1 – Educate yourself on the root cause of pain (It’s not what you think)

Western medicine tends to focus on the physical location of pain and relies on scans and tests to identify a cause. However, chronic pain is often rooted in the brain, specifically in neural pathways that cause pain sensations. Understanding this connection can help you manage and alleviate pain more effectively.

 

2- Energize yourself by using your personality in the best way

Certain personality traits, such as people-pleasing or perfectionism, can contribute to chronic pain by causing stress. By recognizing and adjusting these traits, you can reduce stress levels and decrease pain sensations.

 

3 – Explore and process your past

Research has shown a correlation between childhood trauma and chronic pain in adults. Understanding how past experiences may be impacting your current pain can help you process and move past these triggers.

 

4 – Empower yourself with practical tools to calm your nervous system

Regulating the nervous system is essential to managing chronic pain. Incorporating practices that allow your nervous system to relax and reset can help you feel better and prevent pain from returning.

 

These four steps are the foundation of the Freedom From Pain Healing System, a program I’ve used to help clients around the world manage their pain and reclaim their lives.

 

If you’re struggling with chronic pain, I encourage you to take a holistic approach and consider these four steps. By doing so, you may find relief and a renewed sense of hope.

 

If you’re interested in learning more, I offer daily reminders and tips on LinkedIn (link) And if you’re ready to explore coaching options, schedule a free Discovery call here (CLICK).

You’re tossing and turning. It’s another sleepless night. Predictably… Fear kicks in.

  • What if I don’t sleep again?
  • What will happen tomorrow?
  • What if this keeps happening to me?

Before long we’ve developed a fear of not sleeping which only makes matters worse.

 

Did you know? Some birds sleep with one eye open.

Why? Because half of their brain is alert whilst the other half is sleeping? This allows the bird to spring into action if there’s a threat.

Are you a bird? Of course not.

Unfortunately, as humans, we can’t sleep with one eye open whilst we scan the world for threats. We must choose between being asleep or staying awake.

Therefore, if we believe there’s some level of threat, humans can find it impossible to drop into a deep sleep.

I’m not just talking about physical threats. I’m also talking about stressful things that are playing on our minds. These can also be a threat.

Therefore, the best way to get a good night’s sleep is to find effective ways to settle your nervous system. So that we no longer feel the need to stay alert just in case.

Feeling safe enough to sleep starts from the minute we wake up and the actions we take throughout the day determine whether we will feel safe enough to sleep at night.

For this reason, I’ve broken down this article into 3 sections.

1 – Morning tips
2 – Daytime tips
3 – Evening tips

So here goes…

Morning Tips

Wake up at the same time every single day (no matter what)

I get it… the alarm has gone off and you can’t quite believe it’s that time already because you’ve only just fallen to sleep. However, the biggest mistake we make at this point is hitting the snooze button. Doing so gives us a feeling of having ‘failed’. But more importantly, our body clock starts from the minute we get up. The longer we lay in bed, the later it will be in the evening before your body thinks it’s time to sleep. If the time we get up each day is different no wonder our bodies don’t know when it’s time to sleep.

So next time your alarm goes off, do whatever it takes to crawl out of bed. Yes… You may be tired in the afternoon, but I will show you how to handle that later in this article.

Get up before everyone else

I can already hear your resistance to this point. I know you’ve probably not slept and want to enjoy every second of sleep before you have to get up. And maybe your kids wake up early and you can’t possibly imagine beating them to it.

But still… I stand by this point because it was a game-changer for me in my struggle with chronic pain and terrible sleep.

Whilst we are lying in bed our nervous systems are somewhat calm, even if we’ve slept badly. Then suddenly from nowhere a loud alarm goes off, kids are jumping on you and the dog is barking to be fed. Before you know it, you’re running around the house like a headless chicken trying to get everyone organized for the day whilst at the same time panicking that you haven’t slept which means you will be tired all day. Our nervous system has no idea what’s happening but does its best to keep up with us.

Now imagine this…

Your alarm goes off with a soft vibration alert. You know everyone else is sleeping which gives you 45 minutes of calm time. You savour your perfect cup of tea, maybe sit, and read a chapter of the book you’ve been meaning to finish, and you may even sneak out for a walk around the neighbourhood.

The key here is that you have uninterrupted time to experience what it feels like to have a calm nervous system. Our bodies are extra receptive in the mornings so it’s likely that once we’ve experienced this state of calm, we are more likely to continue our day feeling this way.

The more pockets of time during the day that we can calm our nervous system the better our sleep will be at night.

And finally on this point… The earlier we get up the sooner our body clock resets so that we are ready to fall asleep at night.

Let daylight into your eyes ASAP

Getting daylight into your eyes as soon as possible after waking tells your body clearly that in 12 hours it’s time to sleep. Making your chances of falling asleep far better.

Sitting by a window for breakfast would work but the ultimate treat for yourself would be a quiet walk around the streets. Even if it’s raining and miserable, fresh air, daylight and movement will help your body clock kick start. I promise.

Resist the phone for as long as you can

It’s sad that for many of us, the first thing we do on waking is to check to see if we have any messages or notifications. And even worse we take a sneaky look at social media apps just in case we’ve missed anything. And whilst we are there we may as well check out the news headlines.

Each one of these actions will activate your nervous system without you even realizing it.

What could be on your phone that couldn’t wait an hour or two?

Give yourself the freedom of enjoying the first part of your day distraction-free. This will help keep your nervous system nice and calm for longer.

Which as you know will help your sleep at night.

Daytime Tips

Imagine your nervous system on a sliding scale which fluctuates throughout the day. To get a good night’s sleep the aim is to keep our nervous system as calm as we can throughout the day.

When are you most stressed?

At times throughout the day, you will notice that your nervous system is on high alert. This could feel like you’re holding your breath, clenching your teeth, or anxiously looking around. For some people, myself included, physical pain shows up at these times. Tension in the back, shoulders, jaw etc.

Once we start to notice these moments of stress, we can put measures in place to consciously regulate the nervous system.

My anxiety is at its worst between 3.30 pm – 4.30 pm. It doesn’t matter why. What matters is that I notice and aim to settle it. Here are some techniques you can use throughout the day to calm your nervous system which will in turn help you sleep at night.

Yoga Nidra / Non-Sleep Deep Rest

Yoga Nidra is a guided meditation we do whilst laying down in a quiet room. In just 10 minutes our entire body can fall into a state of calm. But the idea is that we don’t go to sleep. It feels like a massage for the mind. And it teaches us that we can be calm even without sleeping.

If you’re like many people with chronic pain and do not sleep at night this is a great way to quickly recharge your batteries in a really short time.

Having techniques as powerful as this also means we can get up early regardless of the lack of sleep because we can tap into this any time of the day to supercharge ourselves.

This is my favourite and easiest technique to find pockets of peace when I’m stressed or tired.

Meditation

Many of my clients swear by meditation. I find meditation easiest first thing in the morning when my mind is already calm. But later in the day when my monkey mind is on over-drive, I use you-tube meditations as an easy option.

Exercise

Although this is obvious, exercise ensures our body is physically tired enough to sleep.

I would suggest you test out what works best for you. Are you a morning exercise person or an evening one? For me, I find morning exercise helps me sleep and evening exercise tends to keep me awake. But everyone is different.

Struggling to get motivated because you’re tired?

Go for something easy and make use of tools to help you.

The Nike Run app has excellent guided runs. Last week I did a run titled “A run for when you don’t want to run”.

And ‘Yoga with Kassandra” can be found for free on youtube. She has great 10 minute videos and is very motivating.

Technology Tips

These days we’ve all become a little bit obsessed with checking our phones. On average Americans check their phones 344 times a day. That’s once every 4 minutes.

I doubt you can remember the feeling of freedom we used to have before mobile phones.

I don’t suggest we bin our phones but please know that every time we feel the need to check the phone, whether we check it or not, we are evoking a stress response in our bodies.

I’ve deleted all social media apps, news apps and even my e-mail from my phone. It’s been a game-changer for me. If you can’t bring yourself to do this, then at least consider turning off the notifications.

Looking at our phones when we are about to go to sleep does two things.

Firstly, the blue light that’s emitted from your phone stimulates your brain and fools it into thinking it’s daytime. This blue light is saying to our brains “Oh look! There’s bright light… It’s time to wake up”. Instead of falling to sleep your body clock may reset, think it’s morning and try to give you 12 more hours of awake time.

And lastly, do you really want to have some random person’s face from WhatsApp, Facebook or Instagram on your mind as you drift off into sleep? Probably not.

Most things we see on social media will in some way trigger our stress response. So best not to do this just before we try and sleep.

Alcohol & Caffeine

Too much caffeine during the day and we struggle to sleep at night. This is a fact.

But many people believe the opposite to be true of alcohol.

I’ve heard people say they need a glass of wine to help them relax so they can sleep. Whilst it may help you to fall to sleep it will prevent you from getting any deep sleep. And numbing our nervous systems does little to solve the sleep problem long term.

Evening Tips

So it’s coming up to the time we ‘should’ be sleeping. The fear starts to creep in. What if I can’t sleep again?

Notice this very thought is keeping you locked in the pain-fear cycle. The more fear we have of sleeping, the more ramped up our nervous system will be. This gives a signal to our bodies that we need to keep one eye open just like the birds to look out for threats.

As we get better at calming our nervous system during the day our bodies will start to get used to feeling calm and this will extend through to bedtime.

But… having said that when we first start with the techniques mentioned here there may still be evenings that are a struggle.

So here are my top tips for when you find yourself staring at the ceiling while the rest of the world is snoring.

Tapping / EFT Emotional Freedom Technique

Tapping on different parts of the body helps balance energy and reduce the physical and emotional pain. You watch a YouTube video of someone tapping and talking and you just copy.

If you’ve never come across tapping before you may think I’ve lost my marbles.

But I swear by this technique. It works like acupuncture whereby we are releasing energy flow in the body.

So next time you find yourself wide awake, find a tapping video for sleep and give it a go. You might be surprised.

Reading

If we can’t sleep the worse thing, we could do is to continue to lie awake panicking, especially when we’ve spent all day trying to soothe our nervous system.

So put on a reading light and enjoy a few chapters of your book. And trust that your body will sleep when it’s ready to sleep. If you truly need more sleep tomorrow, there’s always Yoga Nidra to give you a boost!

Mind Map

One of the reasons we struggle to sleep is because of our busy minds. For many people, the first time we get a moment to ourselves is when we put our heads on that pillow.

So of course, this is when we start trying to make sense of everything from past events, the things we are dealing with day to day and even things about our future.

Although these things are just thoughts our bodies perceive them as very real threats. And it would be impossible to sleep if there were any threats. Even something as simple as needing to remember to pack the swimming kits for the kids in the morning can seem like a threat at nighttime.

Before you go to bed jot down everything you possibly can that could be on your mind. Let the pen flow including big and small things. Make sure you leave that notepad next to your bed. This way if you notice a thought swimming around when you’re trying to sleep you can roll over and write it down.

As a rule… Better out than in when it comes to thoughts at night.

Gratitude Practice

Running away from the fear of lack of sleep is exhausting. But what if instead, we could focus on running towards joy.

Starting a simple gratitude practice at bedtime will help you to shine a light on all the positive aspects of the day. Just listing 3-5 things that have happened to you during the day that you’re grateful for can send very powerful calming signals to your brain.

Then as you lay down instead of counting sheep which is both boring and stupid, try thinking back to the start of your day. What was the first thing you were grateful for, imagine it fully. Then follow it with the thought of the next thing. Continue this enjoyable process until you reach the end of the day and then start again from the beginning either with new points or the same points.

What matters here is that the thoughts we have as we drift off to sleep bring us a feeling of joy and safety.

Final thoughts

For someone that’s already frustrated about not sleeping, this may seem like information overload, but the underlying message is the same.

If we want to sleep better at night, we need to feel safe.

We need to feel safe throughout the day… not just at night.

And we do this by taking action to settle our busy nervous systems. Unfortunately, our nervous systems will not settle themselves. We must take action and make changes if we want to sleep better.

What is one action you can start taking today?

Book A Free Call

Back in 2016, I was a full-time working mum living abroad. I never stopped and was trying to balance a million things.

I was attempting to be a Super-Mum, a Perfect-Wife and a Full-time Director of HR

Sadly, I was also in physical pain and had given up most of the sporty things I loved to do.

I was scared about my future and felt frustrated that no one could help me get rid of the pain.

I had gone round in circles of hope of recovery and then again a disappointment.

If you have chronic pain, I know you will resonate.

I discovered by accident a book by John Sarno, ‘Healing back pain’. And a lightbulb went off in my head. I knew at that moment that I could heal my back pain without surgery.

This magical approach and the very well-kept secret was called TMS or The Mind-Body Approach to Healing.

I had nothing to lose and was curious, so I made myself into a human experiment.

I learnt everything I could about the science behind pain, had the coaching I needed and journaled a lot.

Very quickly, I started to see the pain slowly getting better.

I had hope again

But, I was scared that friends and family would think I was crazy to consider such a ‘Woo Woo’ approach for such a serious physical condition.

So… I didn’t tell anyone.

I knew this was an inside job and that I needed to do the work. I also knew it could take months or years to heal. I decided that if I healed my pain, I would then come clean about how I’d done it.

I had nothing to lose and everything to gain.

To be honest, I also felt a bit cheated for not having been told about this approach by any of the doctors and specialists I had seen over the 10 years I had been in pain.

This gave me an added incentive to follow this new path because I wanted to prove them all wrong.

As you can imagine, I went through ups and downs. At the start, I had so many little wins and examples of how my pain was curable using the TMS or Mindbody approach, which gave me hope.

The science behind pain made sense to me, so there was no doubt in my mind I was on the right path.

After just a few months, the progress started to slow down. That is when I knew I needed to find some more joy and get back to living.

Otherwise, I would become obsessed with my human experiment and the pursuit of fixing the pain.

I also knew enough about pain to know that it would probably go when I wasn’t thinking about it.

And guess what…it did!

I still remember my first ever pain-free day.

By this point, I had been a life coach for a long time. And I wanted to pivot my business to focus on people with chronic pain.

But I was always too scared. I kept telling myself, ‘What if I can’t help someone and they don’t heal?’

When Covid happened in 2019 I suddenly realized that it wasn’t fair to keep this amazing secret approach of healing to myself. Chronic pain and long covid were on the rise. People desperately needed help.

Maybe I couldn’t help everyone. But there are so many people I could help, and they deserve to be shown a new way to heal that could work.

I wanted to be the person that put them on the path to recovery. So, I switched my coaching practice and zoomed in on stress and pain.

I very quickly had several success stories.

Including a young woman who wanted to get pregnant but who hadn’t been able to due to pain. She has just had her first baby!

And a Mum who was living on just 4 hours of sleep a night due to insomnia. After just a few sessions together, she was sleeping through the night.

Have you been suffering for too long with stress or pain?

The success stories, the relief and the gratitude from clients kept coming. This gave me the boost I needed to help more people.

I’ve always loved being a life coach but since specializing in stress and chronic pain, I’m much more connected to the people I am helping. Why? Because I’ve been there.

For me, it’s not just about the individual I’m helping. It’s about their family and friends.

It’s about kids that get their mummy or daddy back. And it’s about friends being able to have fun again without worrying about the pain.

How would your life be different if you weren’t stressed or in pain?

I help people get their life back. But the part that always surprises me is how my clients often end up being in a better place both physically and emotionally than before they had pain.

Having the chance to work with clients with stress and pain, reminds me daily how lucky I am to have saved my own life.

I get to spend time with my family and friends without having to worry constantly about the pain and my future.

Are you living with stress or chronic pain?

Trust me… You can heal and you can get your life back.

I did it… so can you

Do you want to know if I can help you?

Book A Free Call

I wish I didn’t have so much empathy…

I wish I wasn’t such a people pleaser…

I wish I didn’t overthink everything…

What do you wish?

Every day I meet someone who wishes they were more like someone else.

If there was such thing as a personality transplant, they would take it.

One of the keys to reducing stress and stress-induced pain is to get comfortable in our own skin.

We need to figure out who we are.

Not the version of us we show to the world.

The real us.

That is why all my clients take the Clifton Strengths Assessment, a personality tool to help quickly discover who you are. We find your unique personality. We call these ‘your strengths’.

But what’s fascinating is the different reactions that clients have when they see their strengths for the first time.

And this is what I’m going to share with you. These are the most common emotions that come up for clients when they finally come face to face with their personalities.

And for the most part… it’s not pretty.

Disappointment

When I got my top 5 strengths I was working in Human Resources. I was so disappointed that I didn’t have as many ‘people’ strengths as I was hoping for.

In my mind to be good in HR you needed to have people strengths and I had none.

I was so disappointed that I resigned from my job.

But thank goodness my boss was trained in strengths and was able to talk me off the ledge.

She helped me to embrace my natural strengths rather than wasting energy trying to be someone that I am not. To read the full story click here.

These days I love my strengths and the energy they bring to my clients. And I finally feel comfortable in my own skin.

Anger / Frustration

My first coaching session with Sarah started like this…

Sarah: “OK… I get it… these are my strengths but they haven’t helped me”

We dug in and discovered that Sarah was angry that she had ‘Empathy’ as a strength because she always gets sucked into everyone else’s drama.

She knows this is a source of her stress and pain. She said, “I can’t seem to turn the empathy off”.

During that first session, we were able to go deep and discover specifically when and how empathy was triggering a stress response. And find ways in which she could balance empathy with her other strengths.

We also looked at the many times in which empathy helps Sarah to be successful in roles that she had held both at home and at work.

It wasn’t long before Sarah was able to see her empathy strength for the superpower it is.

Surprised / Validated

Mark discovered he had several strategic strengths. Meaning he thinks incredibly quickly. He can easily consider a million different options before landing on the best answer.

As soon as I shared with Mark that his strategic strength means that he probably thinks faster than his peers I saw a light bulb go off in his head. He said…

Mark: ‘Oh… that’s why I can’t tolerate fools.’

Until this point, he genuinely thought everyone he worked with just didn’t get it.

So much of his stress came from having to explain things again and again.

But now he could see this as his superpower he instantly reframed the way he saw situations and his peers.

He found strategies to explain step by step to others what he was thinking and why. Before long he had everyone on board with him.

Disgusted / Different

Jane has the strength ‘Command’. When she read her strengths report, she took from it that she was bossy.

She was completely disgusted that this was her. And even more upset that others may see her this way. A nerve had been hit because deep down she did feel bossy.

Well… The strength of ‘Command’ can indeed be seen as bossy.

But only if you’re not aware that you have it.

I worked together with Jane to help her see how her strength of command came to life, both at work and at home.

What we discovered was interesting.

Because she was so conscious of not wanting to be bossy, she had been suppressing her natural inclination to take charge for years.

I explained to Jane that it takes more energy to suppress our strengths than to use them.

For years she had been squashing one of her greatest strengths which had been exhausting.

She was able to see the connection to her rising stress levels and associated migraines.

We worked together to see how she could start using her strength of command, without looking bossy so that she could serve others and in turn help herself.

Regret / Grief

Sam discovered that she had the strength ‘Ideation’. Meaning that she has endless creativity. Her reaction, however, was deep sadness, regret and almost grief.

She went on to recall the many times as a child that she was able to use her creativity but somewhere along the way she had lost it.

She described herself as “a shell of a person on auto-pilot”. Her spark had gone.

Discovering she had not been using her strength of Ideation for so many years was a hard pill to swallow.

But by the end of that first session, we had already discovered ways she could quickly re-ignite that creative spark and find purpose and meaning in her days.

Lonely / Isolated

When some clients get their results one of the first things, they notice is that they are different to their family or friends.

This is normal.

We are all different to each other.

But for many, it goes deeper than this. Clients realize that in childhood they were different to their family.

And for whatever reason, their family didn’t recognize or see their strengths

As a child, they tried hard to morph into being what their family expected of them and continued this long into adulthood.

This act of trying to be someone you’re not is exhausting.

With this discovery also comes anger that they were not recognized as a child. Or sometimes we feel relief. Relief that there was never anything wrong with us.

We are just different.

Having the language behind these differences makes all the difference.

Bad / Indifferent

When I asked Julia what she thought of her top 5 strengths she said…

“They are boring, I was hoping to be more”.

Like many clients, she couldn’t see what was so great about her strengths.

I get it!

When you’ve been living with the same strengths your entire life, of course, they will seem boring.

These strengths are your in-built operating system. We take them for granted. They are what makes you – you!

Or put it another way… It’s like trying to look at the end of your nose. Everyone else can see your nose but you can’t. It’s just too close.

We spent that first session looking at how her ‘boring’ strengths were the secret sauce to her previous successes both at work and at home.

Within just an hour, Julia was able to see the end of her nose again! (aka her strengths).

Denial

I will hear a client say, “I’ve done the assessment, but I think I need to do it again, it’s not me at all”.

I’ve been working with the Clifton Strengths Finder tool for many years. And I’ve never once had a client who by the end of our time together still thinks this.

What’s more likely is that they are in denial about who they are. Which in itself could be a cause of stress.

After a little exploration and digging I’m usually able to support the client not just to identify with at least a few of their strengths but to fully embrace them.

Interestingly, the clients with the most denial at the start often go on to recommend Strengths Finder to all their friends.

And finally…

Of course, we could change our personalities.

But it would take years of practice, repetition and re-wiring of our brains.

Wouldn’t it be quicker, easier and healthier to stick with our personality?

Let’s do the assessment. Get our strengths out on the table and see them for what they are.

Let’s be curious about what emotions come up. And figure out how to use our unique strengths in all areas of life.

I promise that when you discover, step in and use your strengths you can’t help but feel stronger.

What clients say

When you discover your strengths it’s as though someone has just given you a brand-new pair of glasses. When you start wearing them you will see the world differently and you will have a-ha moments.

When we first discover our strengths we may not like what we find. But as we unpack them and dig deeper our emotions start to shift.

Only when we stop trying to fight who we are and accept our uniqueness can find inner peace.

And then the real magic happens when you start to consciously notice and use your strengths.

The most common emotions that clients who have gone through strengths coaching with me report are…

Feelings of content, proud, accepted, powerful, trusting, optimistic, thankful, valued, respected, confident and free.

Now it’s your turn

Are you ready to discover your greatest strengths?

Book A Free Call

Send me a message today and let’s get going.

gemma@gemmamcfall.com